Murder on the Orient Express review

The world might not have been waiting with bated breath for a new Poirot film, but I'd be lying if I said that the first trailer for Kenneth Branagh's Murder on the Orient Express didn't pique my interest. Bright neon writing, an Imagine Dragons soundtrack, a lengthy tracking shot from a first-person perspective before the reveal of the greatest moustache you've ever seen - Murder on the Orient Express looked radically different from what I expected, which when combined with a really impressive ensemble cast made it something I was actually kind of excited to see.

And for good reason, it turns out. While hardly a must-see movie or the genre revitalisation I had hoped for, Murder on the Orient Express is still a mostly well-made and very watchable detective yarn, the kind that you don't often see anymore. You know the story - there's been a murder on the Orient Express, and it's up to Hercule Poirot (who is "probably ze greatest detective in ze world") to figure out whodunnit.

Before that though, we get a nice introductory scene in Jerusalem that sees Poirot solving a more minor crime, giving us plenty of time to get accustomed to both his methods and his personality. I'm no Poirot connoisseur (in fact, my knowledge of the character starts and ends at him being smart, Belgian and mustachioed), but I like Branagh in the role - there is a warmth and theatricality to him that stop his eccentricities or somewhat impersonal manner from painting him as alien or distant, without robbing him of any of his intelligence. He's also, of course, got the greatest moustache ever placed on a face, one so impossibly big that either half of it could itself be used as a comically large moustache all on its own.

Equally impressive (although not, sadly, in the moustache department) are pretty much the entire supporting cast, at least when they're given the chance to be. It was always going to be difficult to balance the needs of the story with a cast this large in a film that's less than two hours long, and while Murder on the Orient Express doesn't always pull that balancing act off, most of these performances are strong enough to leave an impression regardless. Interestingly, it's the newer actors that end up getting the most screen-time rather than the veterans - Daisy Ridley and Josh Gad are arguably the most prominent of the supporting characters, and they're both able to hold their own against the more established cast surrounding them. Hell, loath as I am to admit it, even Johnny Depp is actually quite good here, foregoing the goofy costumes and funny voices and doing some genuine acting for the first time in what feels like decades.

Around those performances though, it's difficult to either damn or praise Murder on the Orient Express too strongly. The core story may be an interesting one, but writer Michael Green can hardly be given credit for it, and ultimately Branagh's execution of that story is rarely more or less than just serviceable - which isn't to say that it's bad (strangely tension-free finale aside, Branagh's direction is actually pretty solid throughout), merely that it doesn't do anything elevate the material beyond what it already offers. Ultimately, even with its star-studded cast, relatively high budget and modern film-making techniques, you've seen this film a dozen times before, whether that be through a previous adaptation of Murder on the Orient Express or even just in the way it so closely resembles... well, almost any other detective story, really.

But maybe that's OK. Even if it isn't the kind of genre redefining, contemporary neo-detective story I was hoping it would be (unfairly, in retrospect), Murder on the Orient Express still does enough right to mean that the announcement of more Branagh led and directed Poirot films is one I'd welcome. "Perfectly watchable" might sound like faint praise, but considering that it's a film consisting of little more than conversations, it kept me entertained and engaged for most of its running time - and that's more than can be said about a lot of films. 

★★★☆☆
3 stars